MOM I used a Tampon

I have just been chaperoning kids …had a few extra’s this week, looks like summer boredom has kicked in. All the school friends (or their parents) are calling and scheduling time, usually because summer programs are coming to a close and I am a really good back up babysitter…I really should start charging.

It was way too hot on Thursdays and now it is cloudy again. We did get a chance to dig the pool out and Byrd had fun with several kids (thanks for the entertainment Sargents). aMandy and Byrd had came up with several skits so I sat most of the afternoon watching. Our campfire talent shows have followed me home. Byrds new dream is to sing on Americas Got Talent…my kids aren’t going to college they are gonna be the winners of some reality show…for Tay it will be “Hells Kitchen”…Rose will be “Fear Factor”…and Byrd “America’s Got Talent”… me I think “Treasure Hunter” and JD …hmmm …hopefully “Deal or NO Deal”

JD went and played with the Baxter’s yesterday morning; Shana secured TWO auditions for the “Deal or No Deal” show. She had to spend the night at the Diamond Center but she got Eric and John auditions, they were number 5 and 6. I guess they got 5 Seconds to say something to get them on TV …..not much time…hopefully someone I know will make it in.

JD and the BIG nephews went on more fishing trips this weekend….lower Campbell Creek yesterday and who knows where today…maybe it will work out for them and the smoker will be smoking some silvers.

Tay had a friend over last night and has had a very social week, entailing of many friends, lots of video games, a trip to see the pirate movie, and several walks with her friends. Currently, she and I are in the mix of planning school shopping. Tay has been down for a few weeks, her friend (and my “I sure wish you were mine” child) Rukiya IS moving to Texas, we are all bummed about that…but it could be a month or it could be a year.

Byrd is off in Cantwell camping with friends. Before she left I warned her how Cantwell is not a good place for some (I have never had the privilege of going there) so hopefully they will have a good trip and not have any mishaps.

We picked up Rose from Girl Scout Camp last night. She had a blast learning to kayak (at Ekultna Lake) and canoe in the camp lake. They had a floating breakfast on the lake one morning; I think she really liked that. They saw two Horned Squirrels…or were they horny…not sure which…but she said they were enjoying themselves, so she got pictures. But the very first story I hear is “MOM I used a Tampon…..but it was too big for my nose.”

Never laugh when a hearse goes by...

…. for you will be the next to die…

I didn’t mean too… but as it drove up to the stop light, while we were gassing up. We started discussing a mortician’s job; next thing I hear is “They also suck the fluids out of the body.” And then Trevah … astonished says “WHAT ...WITH THEIR MOUTH???”…..

I couldn’t help but roar with laughter!!!!

Sound like war to me!

I just wasn’t sure if any of the in-laws have read this yet…. Sound like war to me!!

I worked on cleaning out the garage yesterday, you still can’t get a car into it but…with several more trips to the dump…it still ain’t gonna happen. Anyone want to buy a universal weight machine?

I read a very good book yesterday, it was recommended to me by my niece in-law, it’s called “The Night the Angels Cried – A Mother’s True Story” written by June Proctor. A very good book, but be prepared to cry!!! It’s about a mother who lost two sons and three granddaughters due to a drunk driver and how she coped with her rehabilitation and her loss on that Christmas Eve.

Yesterday, I yelled across the neighborhood that the Ravioli’s are done and that my girls need to come in for dinner….my youngest yells back “BUT RAVOLI’S GIVE ME DIARRHEA!!!” ….just what the neighbors need to know!!

Perfect Gift

My parents brought my kids home this week and they stayed for a few days, the parents, the kids are still here. Valette and Bridger stayed again on their trip home; this month is a record breaker for double bookings. I hope Valette wasn’t too afraid during her stay because I am sure she got a good dose of my family!

I am job hunting again. I had an interview the day after my birthday, the interview, for Care Coordinating, went great but… I am not sure if I can commit, with Tay and I leaving to Shriners. I will keep looking and who ever hires me will just have to deal with it. So now I am back to wondering what do I want to be when I grow up….I think this time around maybe I should just get a minimum wage job working nights, that way if I have to quit it is not such a big deal. …but on the other hand it would be nice to be making real money with holiday pay and insurance and 401k’s and sick pay….HMMM Decisions…. I never have been very good at that.

I had a wonderful Birthday Week …Thank you everyone!!! Shopping and lunch with my mommy and daddy, dinner with the Buffalo’s, balloons singing obnoxious opera songs, wine, telephones, microwaves, Chocolate, money, Various size candles…there were tiny ones, small ones, medium ones, AND VERRY BIG ONES….I loved everything THAK YOU!!! … But the best-est of all a forty something year old chair….a chair that has traveled the world, fought in wars, recruited many sailors, conjured up business schemes and possibly helped in conceiving me (I asked not be informed in this matter). It has spent many hours napping, doing homework, disciplining children, I must not tell you anymore in fear that big brother is watching…it is probably wanted not only for the stories it holds but for the fact it is a marked chair with serial numbers and everything…This chair is also my inheritance…some would say ..."Silly why not ask for the gun collection!!"

... Not me this chair is the most perfect gift ever!!!!

ALL STAR!!

Well…Tonight’s All Star Game was an exciting one… It started out not so good for the Homer team, the first inning ended at 11 to 1 Kodiak. But the Homer girl’s picked up the pace and played some real strategic ball. At the bottom of 4^th inning the score was 13 to 9* Kodiak winning… then they called the game on account of the downpour. RAIN and lots of it!! They will pick the game up again tomorrow at 11am...I hope it doesn’t rain.

Ihave some bad news for my girls that are out of town….we now only have one frog…I hope he/she lives…if not… I can see a trip to the pet shop when they get home.

*I believe these are the scores but even blond bear doesn’t remember exactly.

Homer Girls KICK BUTT

Thing have been too quiet around here with only one kid…. Mostly we are just bored! Last night we went and saw Blonde Bear play ball….they KICKED BUTT!!!! I have never seen little girls swing a bat like that. I think the final score was 12 to 1...with Homer winning. They called game early because Kenai was loosing SOOOO BAD!!! If Homer continues to win they will be here until next Tuesday. It was nice to get out and enjoy a good hotdog and a great game of baseball. They play again tonight and I wouldn’t miss it for the world….Not because I really like baseball but it has been so long since I had plans on a Friday night and I am really excited to get out!!!

I got a kick out of the Homer parents …when we arrived we headed straight for the bleachers, EVERY Homer parent had matching lounge chairs that hooked to bleachers. These chairs were snazzy with cushion for their tushin’, arm rests, and pockets to stash important items. When I asked about their lounge chairs …. I was told “They found WALMART “ (poor underprivileged Homeroides). But don’t go looking for these snazzy $15 bleacher chairs because they bought them all….their plan is to take them home and sell them for $50 bucks a pop…that’s what the Ulmers would do!!

The games have been held in eagle river, I don’t hang out in eagle river EVER…and now I know why. The drivers in Eagle River are CRAZY…. I am not sure they know the rules of the road. They look like they know what they are doing with traffic lights, four lanes, and a suicide lane, but for some odd reason they refuse to use any of them. People would pull out as if to use the suicide lane and then NOT, or they would just STOP in the middle of the road for no apparent reason. The pedestrians do not know they have the right away nor do they know how to use a crosswalk. And don’t get me started on the McDonalds staff taking 20 minutes to serve a double cheese burger then screwing us out of half our food. Oh the frustrations of a-wanna-be small town…Driving out there tonight shall be fun with the Bear Paw Festival going on!!!

Only in Anchor Point....

...the Alaska State Troopers Sell Out.

Girl's Night Out

What a week…what was meant to be a three day trip and it ended up being a week. No problems I just could motivate myself to go back to LA., I was having such a lovely time enjoying family that I just could not leave. In fact two out of three wolf cubs stayed until they can find a ride home ( I MISSYOU…AND WE MADE IT HOME SAFE). The dust and the mud just seem so worth it, oh… and that fact that I do not/or cannot answer my cell phone from the HITW. But Monday has come, I am back in LA and as soon as I finish business in Blogland I will pay some bills and return some phone calls and clean the house for some house guests and more house guests… both booked for the same night, but don’t worry we have tents for everyone!!

Our week away was pretty uneventful ...it pretty much consisted of hunting wiener dogs. You see Lily and Jewels just don’t listen and if they are both off their leashes at once then they are GONE…faster then a speeding bullet. As we pull into camp Saturday night after a four hour drive the dogs needed to be let out. As JD and I started setting tents set up, the girls were walking dogs. After a half an hour I decided to let the dogs go and get some chores out of a few children. Big Mistake!!!! The dogs were off and there was no way to catch up with them, which meant no way to see which direction they were headed. We immediately sent out two rigs to track them and as soon as the camper was unloaded from the truck a third vehicle was added to the search. Three big trucks searching for to mini- wiener dogs amongst acres of forest….like needles in a hay stack.

After driving from campground to campground yelling for Lily (Jewels is deaf) at 1AM, talking to which ever campers are still at their fire, waking those who weren’t, we wondered if they had even gone this way. Finally we got word the dogs were back at camp….

Turns out…my brothers young female Labrador decided they all needed a girl’s night out at the local bar. After they mingled and had a few too dinks, the bartender decided they needed a ride home, so she called the number on Lily’s micro-chip tag. They called my home and my cell phone (no service in AP) and then my emergency contact in Anchorage (who was with us). After her search for a designated driver failed she decided to drive the campgrounds, to find their camp. The first campers she found awake told her to leave them in the dog kennel behind the Angler. She instantly knew where the over intoxicated ladies belonged and brought them up to the HITW. I still owe her a drink and will make good on it.

I am still wondering what went on that night at the bar…many men approached us during the days following reminding the little ladies of their night together.